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Jo Huddleston

offering spiritual tonic and hope

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

Today is another day on our life’s journey. Perhaps from my thoughts here you can find encouragement for wherever your journeys may take you.

Welcome to my thinking place. Occasionally I’ll post a new article here, sometimes humorous but always insightful.

Photo by Mallory

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

(Philippians 4:8, NIV)

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Loving

March 2010

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"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."

--Zora Neale Hurston, American novelist and anthropologist

Last month how many valentines did you get/give? Flowers? Candy? Did you give/receive love on Valentine's Day? More than one kind of love exists: love between friends, love between parent and child, love between grandparent and grandchild, love between folks and their pets, romantic love.

Okay, what about love for yourself? Oh, you say, that would be a selfish love, an egotistical love. Really? Jesus said the second greatest commandment is "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. So if we don't love ourselves how can we follow this commandment to love another?

"God is love" (1 John 4:8). He created us and loves us. (John 3:16) But, you know, even though God loves us we must reach out and receive His love before we have it. Just like receiving a gift; someone offers us a gaily wrapped box but until we take it in our hands we haven't received it.

Okay let's keep it simple: God loves us; His love is universal. (John 3:16) Since God loves us we must be lovable. So we can love ourselves and then be able to love our neighbor and also "Love one another" (John 15:12). And the world today certainly needs that loving one another!

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What About Regret?

February 2010

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"Don't let your history determine your destiny." --Andy Andrews, The Noticer.

Now that we're into the new year, have you looked back on last year? Sometimes when making future plans, folks look at their calendar from the previous year to give them direction. Looking back with positive purpose is good. But many look back and spend time on past negative decisions and actions, which can lead to regret.

From Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online:

regret: sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair.

Regret is not productive; it doesn't fix anything, it doesn't change anything. What it does is put our mind in a negative mode. And negative thinking has no good purpose. When we look back with regret to that guy or gal we wish we'd married but didn't, does it change anything? No. When we look back with regret to a time when we were at a forks in the road and now we think we took a wrong turn, does it change anything? No. We could go on and on looking back and wishing something from the past were different.

But regretting and wishing don't make it so. Let's don't spend much time or either of them. We'll just be taking time away from something good that is in store for us in the present. I've used this quotation before but here it is again. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present." Yesterday. Don't we know that today is yesterday's future and yesterday is no more?

I read an excellent little book recently by Andy Andrews: The Noticer. Whether you're young or not-so-young, male or female, despondent or happy, this book is for you. Its underlying theme is looking at things with perspective. Andrews writes in the book that "sometimes all a person needs is a little perspective" and situations look a lot different, better. He writes about perspective in relation to regret.

Here's hoping we can shake off all that regret about something in our history and go forward to better things.

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No Thinking Backward

January 2010

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"Take a few minutes to toast a brand-new year. The best thing about January? A clean slate. What happened in 2009 stays in 2009!"

--Woman's Day, January 2010

It seems only last week when everyone had anxiety about the arrival of the year 2000. Many expressed concern about moving into a new millennium, some even wary that 2000 would bring apocalyptic catastrophes. A major concern was that our computers and anything governed by computers would be unable to cope with such a drastic change. Well, none of our fears came about. So much for worrying; and you know how unproductive I think worrying is.

Now, ten years later, I don't hear the same kinds of concerns. Concerns, yes, but of a different kind. Concerns have always abounded and, sad to say, many of our concerns are things that we can do nothing about. And akin to worry is regret. That, too, is unproductive.

So, as the apostle Paul wrote: "One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead." (Philippians 3:13, NKJ) I think his words probably mean that our future can be healthier if we leave the heavy thoughts of the past behind. That might not be easy for some, but try it. Make that one of your resolutions for 2010--think forward, not backward. Like the quote at the beginning reads, the new year gives us a clean slate. Do you remember in school how refreshing it was to be the first to write on a just-cleaned chalkboard (or whatever kinds of boards schools have now)?

Try looking at this new year of 2010 as a just-cleaned chalkboard. Then decide what you'll write on it; what footprints you will leave behind on a daily basis. We may not have control over much in our lives but we can control our decisions. Decide to look forward.

Not often do "celebrities" say wise things that impact our lives but this one is a keeper from Brooke Shields: "I need to start every day fresh and I need to count my blessings." A good pattern to help us get started on 2010.

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Christmas Wishes

December 2009

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"Home is a gift to be opened every day." --Mary Anne Radmacher

Those of you who have followed my writing for some time will find my thoughts this month familiar. I've chosen to approach the Christmas season with some humor and also some seriousness. I'll change up my list from year to year and the next time I write about Christmas, my list may be new to you. All that said, here are my thoughts:

No longer do Christmas trees and Santas always wait until the day after Thanksgiving to appear. The more to get us in a buying mood? I guess store managers figure the earlier we're tempted with Christmas music and decorations, the sooner we'll start purchasing gifts.

Speaking of gifts . . . As soon as they can write, children delight in making lists of what they want for Christmas. Many times those lists get longer or get changed every day.

We adults make mental lists and drop hints to our "Santa." Along with the children, we begin to feel the "Christmas spirit" as the time draws nearer for opening presents resting under the tree. Lists of things that can't be packaged stay in our minds as well. This kind of wish list is good all year, not only for December.

Have you ever wished TV cable wouldn't go off in the middle of something good; shots that will make us feel better didn't come in a needle; we still had service stations instead of self-serve gas pumps?

Don't you wish you'd bought stock early on in Coca-Cola, IBM or Levi Strauss; newborns slept through the night; paper cuts didn't hurt so bad; opportunity would knock more often, or louder; experience wasn't sometimes the best teacher?

Do you ever wish more money than month occurred instead of the opposite; someone would invent "windshield wipers" for eye glasses; our mistakes weren't so noticeable?

Don't you wish light bulbs didn't burn out right when you turned them on; you could go back and do some things differently; appliances wouldn't quit two months after their warranty expires; the check-out line you're in didn't move the slowest; shoe strings didn't break?

On a more serious note, I wish violence would be replaced by kindness; paying health care premiums guaranteed good health; words could adequately express the feeling of love; hearts couldn't break; it didn't get dark.

I wish responsibility wasn't so heavy; the world was a kinder, gentler place; TV programming was more wholesome; good outweighed bad; children didn't have to be sick; grandparents lived longer.

I wish all good dreams came true.

As we compile our Christmas wish lists, may we remember the words of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale: "The magic message of Christmas is that God gives us so much more than we can possibly give back! He gave the world the greatest gift of all time. 'For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given (Isaiah 9:6).'"

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Family Holidays

November 2009

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"It wasn't about the surroundings, be they fine or makeshift. It was about being together. It was about spilled milk, deaf grandparents, sibling rivalry, and the trials of everyday life, which were overcome or overlooked because, beneath it all, love made the little irritations seem like blessings."

--Catherine Anderson, My Sunshine.

Over the river and through the . . .

Maybe you're a family of one or two; maybe an extended family of many. Some friends are as close as family and their companionship blesses us just like family. I've been an only child all my life, but my extended family numbered in the dozens. My daddy had eleven siblings and by the time they had children and grandchildren a family gathering was a crowded bunch of people.

Some of us may not be around much family or any family for the holidays. And this month brings a holiday that certainly qualifies as one for family gatherings: Thanksgiving. Some big crowds will have the traditional turkey and trimmings; some small crowds will not. So, if you're one in a small, small group, toss that frozen turkey dinner into the microwave and enjoy. Or lasagna or tacos or mac and cheese--whatever your favorite is and have an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

Whatever your dinner plans may be, please don't forget the "thanks" in the word Thanksgiving. I'm glad I have Someone to thank for all the good in my life. "Enter his gates with Thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name" (Psalm 100:4).

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Memories

October 2009

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"I cannot but remember such things were,

That were most precious to me."

William Shakespeare, author (1564-1616), Macbeth, Act iv. Sc. 3

Recently I enjoyed a Dove milk chocolate nugget. The inside of its wrapper held these words: "Life is all about making memories." Well, life is not all about making memories, but we do create memories as we live life.

Scrapbooking is a favorite pastime of many these days. In a thick book with sturdy blank pages, we can collect a lifetime of pleasant keepsakes. Later we'll drag out the old scrapbook and delightfully relive our good times through its pages. In my teens and 20s I kept a scrapbook although not as elaborate as those kept today. But what I kept in my scrapbook is no different than those of today: good memories.

Who would want to keep things that would remind us of bad memories? Probably nobody. We would rather forget those bad memories. We try to push them into oblivion so we won't have to relive them. About the only value of bad memories is that we can learn from them so we won't stumble into the same situation that brought about the bad memory. You know, experience is the best teacher.

So, don't recall past mistakes and bad judgments. That would only serve to sour your todays and hit you with a negative attitude that is sometimes difficult to adjust. When we mentally review our life we can fill volumes with bad memories but don't keep them in your mind's scrapbook. Promise yourself that you won't dwell on negative things you may have stumbled over. Try to push them away to make room for the many good memories you have. You'll be happier and probably make those around you happier as well. "Remember this,--that very little is needed to make a happy life."-Marcus Aurelius, author (121-1-80), Meditations, vii. 67.

I'll leave you with this:

"Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad."

--Christina Georgina Rossetti, author (1830-1894)

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Beginnings

September 2009

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"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." --

Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher

A new school term has begun. For those venturing into pre-school as well as for those tackling their last year of college. Hardly anything equals the excitement of the first day of school. Maybe not excitement about resuming the labors of the classroom, but excitement about being together again with friends.

Although students approach this school-starting day several times in their life, each year affords them a new beginning. Many of us are granted new beginnings of whatever kind other than school. Beginnings allow us to use our reasoning and intellect to approach something with knowledge but without preconceived notions. We can make our new beginnings. We can have a fresh outlook on whatever we endeavor. It's like a second chance. You know, forget the past mistakes and start out anew.

Beginnings mean that perhaps something before it has ended so that a new thing can begin. With students, the summer has ended. With newlyweds, their single carefree days have ended; but what great promises their new beginning holds. With all of us, we can leave behind the past where we know we made mistakes and commit ourselves to a new beginning

The start of a new school term signals a new beginning among the many beginnings of life. Most are good; some may be less than favorable. Some may be monumental, some may be little. But as Cellini Benvenuto, Italian sculptor, goldsmith and author (1500-1571) says, "Little beginnings sometimes have great endings." Whatever the case, we can only take them as they come, one at a time. Not mixing them with times past or trying to enhance them with unknown flavors from the future. Each new adventure can be enjoyed because of its own merit. Because it's happening at the moment; a new beginning.

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Choices

August 2009

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"I think there is choice possible at any moment to us, as long as we live."

--Muriel Rukeyser (1913-1980), U.S. poet

Choices are required of us every day. The first recorded choice made by human is that made by Eve when she decided to bite into the apple. And then the second was made by Adam, and on and on.

In the evening do you ever review the choices made that day? Where did those choices lead? What resulted because you made a choice the way you did? As you review your choices made, do you ever have regret that you may have made the wrong choice? (Regret? Oh, discussion of regret is for another time.)

Once we make a choice, it's made, no second choice in that particular instance. But if we're smart enough, we can learn valuable lessons from even our wrong or questionable choices.

In the movie, "The Renaissance Man," Danny De Vito's character makes a profound statement: "The choices we make dictate the lives we lead." To paraphrase, what he's saying appears to be "Where you are today is the result of all the choices and actions that you have made thus far in your life." If that's the case, and I believe it is, we might need to thoroughly weigh our decisions on all our future choices. We probably won't always make a correct choice. Who could? But it sure wouldn't hurt to strive to be diligent in our efforts to make right choices. Especially if we think that what we become, say, a year from now will be the result of the choices we make between now and then.

Wonder what choice Eve would make today if she could go back and have a second choice? We won't be presented with a choice of the magnitude of Eve's but our choices are just as precise to the outcome of our lives as hers was to the outcome of humankind.

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Time

July 2009

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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present." --Eleanor Roosevelt, former U.S. First Lady

In a magazine I read recently this was the title on the editor's page: "The Future Is Now." The article didn't mention the title again or hint at its meaning. Exactly what did the title mean? Those words still rattle around in my mind so I'll give my take on them.

The future is now. Okay . . . Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Today is tomorrow's past. Tomorrow is today's future. Does that come out to be "the future is now"? Is this like high school algebra where a=c, b=c, then a must = b? The "future is now" is all a puzzle of time.

Does time restrict all of our days? Does time confine us within boundaries every hour? Does time keep us within limits every minute of every day? Of course it does. But where would we be if we didn't have these restrictions, boundaries and limits that time dictates to society? Without time, people would live in a state of utter confusion and disorder. Therefore, time becomes an ally for the common order of all people.

Each day we're allotted 86,400 seconds. No matter what we do with the day, none of those seconds can be carried over to tomorrow. Whatever time we fail to use or to use unwisely cannot be recalled. An English proverb reads, "Time and tide wait for no man." Make good use of your time. Take advantage of every worthwhile opportunity. Cherish today as a gift from God and don't squander the precious seconds and hours of it. Value your todays more highly than all your tomorrows. For too soon today will become yesterday and you'll wonder where the time went.

Making specific goals for the use our time is admirable. But also aim to make no time for bad attitudes, hurtful criticism or unkind gossip (is there any other kind?). Make no mockery of time by being satisfied with idleness. When we put all our time to good use we could agree with Benjamin Franklin: "To love life is to love time. Time is the stuff life is made of."

Oh my, I've probably taken up too much of your time; time that you may have planned for doing something more enjoyable or worthwhile. Next month I'll try to be less wordy. But, remember, I do value the time you share with me.

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Change

June 2009

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"Situations alter cases." --Anonymous

Things change around us and we must adapt to those changes. Adapt implies making modification according to changing situations. Whenever our circumstances may change we adapt to them like someone who moves and adapts themselves to a warmer climate.

When things around us change we sometimes must adapt to them to be able to live in harmony with our new circumstances. But that is usually an outward change we make in order to live with physical change.

However, we don't have to change inside. Just for the sake of change, don't replace love with hate, kindness with violence or integrity with deceit. Don't exchange smiles for frowns, goodness for meanness or patience for impatience. Victor Hugo, French poet and novelist, said "Change your opinions, keep to your principles."

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Mistakes

May 2009

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"Instruction does not prevent wasted time or mistakes; and mistakes themselves are often the best teachers of all." –James Anthony Froude,

English historian

In a book I read recently by Kristin Hannah, she wrote these words: "the gift of mistakes." I read on past those words, then stopped, went back and reread them a few times. Now, what do you suppose she meant by that? The meaning I gathered from her book is that she considers mistakes, which are a part of every life, as actually gifts to us so that we can learn from them and not do the same unfavorable thing again. They're gifts because if we use them correctly we will gain from them and therefore enhance our future.

Hindsight is valuable. Our mistakes potentially give us perfect hindsight vision if we will approach them as a gift, something for our improvement. Victoria Holt, novelist, said, "Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." That's another way of saying we cannot live in the past but we can be glad of what went smoothly and learn from the awful. When you constantly look in the rear view mirror you won't do a good job of driving forward.

Looking into the past and trying to do something about something you can't do anything about is wasted effort. We get no do-overs. Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, said: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." So, accept the gift of mistakes, saying no to regret and saying yes to hopeful days ahead.

Well, I think I've rambled a bit. So, I'll sum up what I've been trying to say: We all make mistakes and the past won't change. Perhaps we can try not to destroy present and future happiness by thinking back on everything that has gone wrong.

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Success

April 2009

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"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." —Thomas Edison

What is success? Is it the young boy who wants to buy baseball cards and sets up a lemonade stand to make $5 to get them? Is it the pre-teen girl who has her eyes on a special pair of earrings and babysits to make enough money to buy them?

How do you determine success? Do you make a string of goals and mark your successes with each goal you reach? Maybe you set a formidable goal that lasts a lifetime before you reach it, but when you do then you arrive at your planned-for success.

Some attach success to having things: if I get the big house, the expensive car, elegant clothes and fine jewelry, then I'll be a success. That could be called the "look-at-me success." Mother Teresa apparently didn't strive for those things; would you consider her a success? And then some have success thrust upon them--the limelight of popularity found in sports, Hollywood, music. Even that shining success sometimes doesn't last forever.

But then what does last forever? Again, what is success?

We might be wise to set worthwhile and realistic goals for ourselves and do what's necessary to reach them. But remember these words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, American author and poet: "Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising up every time we fail."

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Friendships

March 2009

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“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer, U.S. radio host

Do you make friends easily? Do some of your friendships date back to years ago? Do you have a best friend? Just by our life experiences we know what a friend is, but how would you define "friend" to someone who had no knowledge of the word? I like Aristotle's definition: "A true friend is one soul in two bodies." A less literary and more lighthearted definition of a friend is by Mr/Ms Anonymous: "A friend is one who dislikes the same people that you dislike."

Friendship is a valuable commodity to be cherished and cared for. True friendship is a durable thing. Commitments between friends are easily made and certainly kept. Good friends don't feel the need to carry on incessant conversations; silence between friends is an enjoyable time not an awkward time. Understanding between friends is a beautiful thing because their thoughts often lie on the same plane; much of the time friends know they are in agreement without even voicing their thoughts. The proverbial "they can finish each other's sentences" applies to best friends. And true friends are very much in agreement most of the time. Even when they disagree, friends are okay with that. They agree to disagree and neither is put out with the other.

Robert Blair (1699-1746), a Scottish poet, aptly summed up the relationship of friends:

"Friendship! mysterious cement of the soul,

Sweet'ner of life, and solder of society."

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Love Your Heart, Love With Your Heart

February 2009

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“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” –Helen Keller

Folks talk and think about the heart in February. Events such as runs and bike riding occur, all with the goal of healthier hearts. Emphasis is placed on heart-healthy meals, lifestyles and activities.

February also brings Valentine’s Day. Authorities differ on the beginning of Valentine’s Day; whatever its origin, Valentine’s Day is celebrated by all ages. Young children make their own valentines using lots of red paper and glue. Older students have dances and parties. Adults exchange valentines with those special to them. Bushels of candy and dozens of red roses are given on Valentine’s.

And, oh, the valentine cards we buy! The first commercial valentine appeared in the early 1800s. What a robust business was begun with that first valentine! And what a lasting tradition this valentine-giving has become. On Valentine’s Day we take the opportunity to express our likes and loves to special people. What a glorious day for telling or writing our positive feelings.

But what about the other 364 days of the year? Do we take the time to let people know our good feelings toward them? We don’t have to wait until February 14 to do this. And it doesn’t have to be a romantic feeling, but it must be heart-felt. Telling our friends, relatives, family and colleagues our good feelings about them can be done on any day.

So, here’s to healthy hearts and loving hearts. May both become a daily thing with everyone.

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A New Year

January 2009

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“Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”

—Ray Bradbury

We can start over once again. It's sometimes perplexing where the days, months and years are going. They seem to pass by in a whiff, as a vapor or smoke and then they're gone, not to be relived.

Children grow bigger, adults get older, the computer becomes outdated, old buildings are torn down and replaced by new structures. Does nothing stay the same? One thing I hope will not change: honorable principles which will govern our lifestyles during 2009. Let's don't dwell on what might have been, but on what can be.

May we not compromise honorable principles; not swap honesty for deceit, trust for suspicion, love for hatred or compassion for unconcern. Let's concentrate our thoughts on good not bad, right not wrong, positive not negative.

Happy 2009!

My Thoughts